So yet again we get to see the ass end of a prison for imperials and malcontents that the Rebel Alliance is using in secret from the Empire. By this point in the arc pretty sick of it. Not just the art arc but the story as a whole. I may need blood pressure medicine by the time this review is over.
Inks: Some guy
Colorists: Dont get me started
Letterer: Someone I feel sorry for
OK so let me get this out of the way right off the bat. This issue was enough to please casual Science Fiction fans. Notice I didn’t say casual Star Wars fans, as for hardcore-er fans like myself I wanted to through poo at my page in certain areas. I mean seriously? First Cap decides to go Hydra which is not only insulting to those that created him for exactly the opposite reason IN REAL FUCKING WORLD WAR II but to those that have been tried and true with the character for OVER HALF A CENTURY. GG Marvel. Luckily! Your handling of the Star Wars universe’s main title hasn’t been that stu-…. *re-reads issue 19* fucking done… fucking fuckity fuck shit fuck balls Winnebago.
So we get it, Leia and Sana and Dr. Aphra (somehow) are now heroines, even though Sana has been written previously as an antihero who tried to kidnap Solo and capture of kill Leia but relented but now is all buddy-buddy with her? But has shown none to minute changing in her character to become all goody-goody.
As for Dr. Aphra…. WTF. She’s a villain! She’s not supposed to be a Star Wars Charlie’s Angel’s crew… wtf. I don’t even. She’s DARTH VADERS henchwoman who kills people with her assassin droids she does have a sense of empathy but she’s not the Harley Quinn of Star Wars (at least not yet). I … dont… even…
*breathing….. Breathing…. BREATHING*
Those issues aside WTF is up with the writing of Leia… can someone tell me? Sana comes around and all of a sudden Leia goes from steel emotional general to ditzy girl with a gun trying to talk to the dude killing everyone from killing everyone… Are we not suppose to understand their could be 2 strong willed women in the galaxy? *Gasps* of different origins and races? The hell you say!?
Leia got 2nd fiddle treatment in this issue and as much as I DON’T usually care for Leia (being an imperial lover as it is) WHY THE HELL are you making her 2nd chair to Sana and then to PIMPLE FACE WRECK GUY. (The agent from SW: Annual #1) Then there’s Han and Luke, who apparently aren’t able to be anywhere near the ladies as it would pull too much attention away from Organa’s Angels since women can’t hold up a story themselves if Luke and Han are there… seriously? They relegated them both to comedic relief and the 1 fucking time it could have been helpful to have them they instead start the last issue of this god forsaken arc tied up and captured… Han and Luke 2 best fighters of the rebellion one arguably the best pirate/smuggler in the galaxy and the other a Jedi Padawan in training with the FUCKING FORCE and you’re telling me they get the drop on them by this crater faced jabrone who is killing imps in prison because he doesn’t like them.
So putting all this other shit aside lets look at what we have. The 3 ladies trying to best a crazed ex rebel spy who seems to be off his rocker and somehow captured Luke and Han and still has time to talk about how he hates the Empire and Leia’s approach is somehow too soft of them. Yea man whatever… angry neo gun nut who hates the enemy. I’ve seen it done plenty of times and still the story finds time to bother with Sana and Aphra’s bickering which come to think of it… didn’t Sana and Hana bicker a lot when she was introduced? I mean does she do more then that? She’s even bickering and threatening when the gravity is lost.. even at the end of the comic towards Aphra… I’ll go into why later but damn give the woman some other expression other then pissed off ex-girlfriend.
So anyways somehow crag-face tells Leia she wont hurt her or Sana but Aphra has to die. Aphra who’s stared Darth Vader in the face by the way and lived to die by not this Jabrone but by Sana who’s going to kill her for this guy?…. No.. just no.
But while the gravity goes out (thanks to Leia signalling R2 to turn off the stations power) Leia uses it to get the ups on the Eneb Ray (the crag face) Sana uses the gravity to choke hold Aphra and throw her at Ray, after telling Aphra she’s going to kill her again… yay.. more angry women dialogue.. -not-
So the 3 angels knock out pizza face and get him under control. They capture him but not before evacuating the station because it was going to fall into the nearby star because the power was shut off. The Leia looks for Aphra who’s trying to escape but Leia stops her to tell her she wont let her go… seems Leia can’t be strong and forceful to angry pizza face guys just to other less masculine characters. After some banter about Aphra may survive Darth Vader employ to look Leia up… Aphra realizing she’s saying she’s going to let her go says “what” and then Sana kicks Aphra into an escape pod and ejects her after all of that.
The pair of women then ramble about trackers in Aphra’s clothes and trackers Aphra put on their ship… I assume the Rebel one? The Falcon? The Ship from the 3 issues ago of this shitty arc? My god…
Luke and Han wake up as the useless turds they were relegated to being and the crater faced rebel spy was put in custody but tears out his own tooth with a key in it to get out of his cuff/restraints? Or is it a tracker? Or whatever I’m done trying to translate this mess of an issue.
Then the final straw…
After some time has passed stormtroopers are scouring through the now darkened and seemingly stripped down prison and talking about this was the place the rebels were keeping Kolar Ludd. One of the troopers then picks up a lightsaber that looks like Lukes or IS Lukes … wtf? And uses it to cut through some bars as he says he just received a new mission to go kill more rebels.. and we close on a wide shot of special mission armored stormies that look like Rob Liefeld designed them or are steroided up like POTF2 stormies… lmao… … wow. -smh-
Anyways usually I add pictures to these reviews but this one was so crap that I couldn’t even bother hence the PIC spots in the above column.
The only dam thing to come out of this all was that we find out Sana and Aphra used to be an item or so it seemed. So Sana IS the angry ex-girlfriend character to Solo and to Aphra… who both hurt her. Seems she goes easier on Solo then Aphra even though Aphra said she was sorry and felt bad for the whole thing in the past. So it seems Sana is forever the angry ex-wench… sad. But its cool maybe they’ll make up I’ll take a Sana X Aphra if I can’t get a Aphra X Vader.
That was the ONLY saving grace of the issue… 3 of 10 for me.