Well now we reconvene at the appropriate hour to pick up the lasted issue of the main STAR WARS title line. Back at Rebel Jail, sounds like a drinking song for drunkards at a backwoods bar trying to remember if how the lost their wife, their dog and their truck.
Writer: Jason Aaron
Penciler: Leinil Francis Yu
Inker: Gary Alanguilan
Colorist: Sunny Gho
Letterer: Chris Eliopoulos
Cover: Yu & Gho
I’ll start off this review by saying I was dubious about this arc from the start. It started to a point at the end of Vader Down’s crossover series where Leia socks Aphra and captures her. Since then I was hoping to the story would get through this arc quickly as I don’t like the fact that we have one of Vader’s allies basically in Rebel hands, but instead of a quick escape we’re stuck with some more bumbling man filler while the new Charlies Angels are having to do the dirty work to fight the bad guy. So with my more negative annotations and tone put to the review on with the show! (seriously I’m not trying to hate.. that much)
We start the issue off with Luke and Han unloading the Gorilla birds they had last issue. YES I know they aren’t called Gorilla birds YES I don’t care. I saw them in TaleSpin 20+ years ago and it’s too hard to try and remember whatever the hell they are called at the moment to even bother writing it. Actually I hate them so much it’s taking me more time to sit and write this then it would be for me to load up wookieepedia and find out their actual name. Baloo and Kit win this one.
Anywhoooo,… Luke convinces Han that since they travel around so much in the Falcon he should learn how to fly it in case he ever needs to pilot it in an emergency. The scene is OK though for some reason the Falcon’s radar dish is way hella huge then what it should be for the panel but it’s a small thing so I’ll let it slide.
We then get back to the girls trying to take back the Rebellions jail. Hmmm not going to go into my feelings on the rebels keeping a jail for the grunts on a star based… eh.. whatever I’m over it. So we have Sana Starros, Princess Leia and Dr. Aphra trying to retake the jail as it’s been commandeered by a band of marauders? pirates? unknown bounty hunters? Look I’m fine with not knowing the leaders identity behind his mask, it’s whatever. But at least talk about who these fools could be. I guess jailbreaking-ins and killer of prisoners as hard core Rebels killing Imperial prisoners. Eh… I’ll just say the lack of knowledge about minor issues like that has become annoying since The Force Awakens… but whatever. So the trio of women are fighting off deadly droids making their way to the jails’ control room to retake the prison. Luckily R2 and 3PO are in the control room already seemingly seen as not a threat as the assassin droids do their leaders work to shut down the prison and start ejecting them into space to float and burn up in the nearby star… doubling down on the death.
Now the leader of these droids meets an old white haired prisoner that looked similar to Heir to the Empire’s Jorus C’baoth locked up in a cell. The leader of the break in asks the prison why he was secluded from the rest of the population. 3 reasons he says, for the 3 jedi throats he slit. So he’s killed at least 3 jedi, I assume it was after the start of the Jedi Purge since more then likely he would have been an agent for the separatists during the Clone Wars. Anyways the old bastard attacks the marauder leader with a shiv, to those of you not understanding that verbiage you probably grew up in the suburbs or live in the upper-middle class or high class tax bracket. A shiv is basically something given a sharp edge similar to a knife to do some stabbin’ with often seen in HBO TV series.
So the old guy attacks the marauder leader who blocks the attack and takes the shiv and stabs the old guy in the chest and as he does tells him he too knows a secret, that Emperor Palpatine was a Sith Lord. So somehow this guy knows Palp’s is a Sith lord so that’s something intriguing at least.
What isn’t as interesting is the jabber back and forth between the trio of women who for some reason Jason Aaron has decided that these well made characters are going to turn into REAL WOMEN, and by real women I mean angry at each other for old grudges and constantly yelling at each other when speaking. Sexist to say that Rez? If you believe women don’t do that then yes, if you live/work/exist near many women as I do at my job and in my family then you’ve seen this scene over and over. Bitching about nailpolish being used up, a jacket borrowed and not asked to be, a pair of shoes that look better on her then her and she needs to rag on how bad they look when secretly envying her wearing them…. ugh…
Anyways luckily the girls fight to the control room and 3PO uses his “fistocuffs” to help take down the lead droid holding them back. Then Sana and Aphra start getting into it over some old grudge that Aphra is saying they should forget but Sana isn’t having it. Then Liea the Queen Bee… Queen B- yells over them and tells them to shut up. Thank you.
Then the pair of bumbling squares aka Han and Luke land at the station seemingly as the unknowning dimwitted males to bring the plot to a head seemingly about to walk into a trap as the marauder leader is seen standing on top of the Falcon as Luke and Han exit it apparently not hearing or seeing this guy behind them.
Mercifully the issue ends there. I’m sorry I mean damn guys. I won’t rag much about the art even though I saw a few parts that could be better but that’s par for most comics. But the dam story this issue was brain numbing. We get a scene or 2 of something interesting but the slowness of this arc I was hoping would end quickly and the lack of the background story behind Aphra and Sana (and perhaps Solo) has me grinding my teeth. I hope eventually Aphra leaves and finds her way back into Vader’s good graces. I hate well written characters always going to the Rebellion… I’m looking at you Kyle Katarn, Corran Horn, Kyp Durron… errr maybe not Kyp. Anderson is more fan-servicy crap to me that even Aaron is better then.
So anyways this issue trudges along as I hope for it to conclude… 6 out of 10 blaster rifles.